I have never been someone who has a huge group of close friends. I do have quite a few friends, but not many know me in great detail. I keep in touch with a couple people from high school, a few college friends, and a few law school friends. But it wasn’t until after Reid was born that I found My People. When Reid was 8 months old, we started taking Little Gym classes together. The class we signed up for – Thursday – was a good one. I immediately wanted to be friends with a few of the other moms that seemed to click with me. I struggled at first on how to take these relationships beyond a weekly baby gym class – do I ask for her number? Find her on Facebook? Does she feel the same way about me? This was like dating all over again, and I hated it. But somehow, a few of us started scheduling playdates together. I think that’s the first step in mom dating- the playdate, using your kids as an excuse to get together and sniff each other out. Slowly, a group of about 6 of us became friends and started talking in a group chat about things other than kids. We got together for dinner and drinks. I had found a small group of women that really understood me, accepted me, and loved me.
I feel incredibly lucky to have found these ladies. We have experienced a lot together over the past 3.5 years: the birth of a second child for each of us, the loss of family members, countless birthday parties and playdates, new homes, so much laughter, and a few tears. I was not scared to expand my family because I knew these women would save me from drowning. They continue to do that almost daily. These are the friends that will support you no matter what. Our parenting styles are not always the same, but we don’t judge each other. If I ever have a question about something, a fight with my husband, or just need to vent- I always go to them first. We show up for each other.
The most amazing thing to me in all of this is how different we all are. Some work, some don’t. (Yes, I understand that being a stay-at-home mom is work. I am one.) Some want more children, some aren’t sure, some are DONE. We have varied interests and backgrounds. But our kids brought us together, and I’m so thankful for that. It has become apparent to me recently how much I need these friends in my life. I know I’d be much worse off without them. We don’t see each other in person nearly as much as we’d like, but we always try. All of our schedules rarely overlap, but when we can all get together- it is the BEST.
We sometimes talk about the days when our kids will be in school and we’ll have more time for ourselves (will this day ever come?). Some are looking forward to that, some are dreading it. But one thing is certain- we will get through that hurdle (and many others) together.