Putting the “fun” in Functional Medicine

Putting the “fun” in Functional Medicine

So. I had heard of the Functional Medicine Center at the Cleveland Clinic, like, 18 months ago. I was on the wait list for a full YEAR before getting an appointment in early January! I had forgotten I even made the damn appointment until I got a call after Christmas saying my name was up on the wait list. Well, ok then! The woman in the phone then said “you know this is a 4 hour appointment, right?”

Umm, no. I did not. 😳

So, I arranged for childcare (thanks to my husband and mother-in-law) and looked at exactly what this thing entails. Functional medicine aims to treat the root problem in disease rather than the symptoms. Someone described it as having a rock in your shoe- usually docs prescribe a medication for the pain. Functional medicine says “let’s take the rock out.” It involves a lot of dietary stuff, supplements, and some lifestyle changes. The health questionnaire that I filled out before my appointment took me about 90 minutes (probably more, between pleas for more snacks from Reid and incessant rocking for Sydney). I had to call my mom a couple times to ask how long I was breastfed, when did I first have dairy, etc.

This thing was intense.

So, I went to my appointment. The center is really new- everything is super modern and clean. There seems to be a mandate that no color enters this space. I met with a doctor for an hour, got TWELVE vials of blood drawn, managed to not pass out, met with a nutritionist for an hour, and a health coach for about 30 minutes. It was… a lot of information.

I walked out of there not know what I was going to do. I really didn’t want to spend 6-8 weeks without all the foods I had grown pretty accustomed to shoving in my face during my pregnancy, postpartum period, and holiday season. Things like desserts, wine, pasta, and more-than-just-occasional fast food.

Plus, the timing just wasn’t right. I had a cooking class in a couple weeks that was basically all dairy, then my birthday was a few weeks after that, then our anniversary, then Kirk’s and Reid’s birthdays. And then it would be summer, and who wants to give up all that stuff during summer? That’s when I realized- the timing will never be right. I’ll never have 6 weeks with no plans, no celebrations, no real life. If I wanted real change, I had to work it in somehow.

So I decided. Mid-February to early April, I would do the elimination diet. I have no idea how this is going to go, and giving up booze while dealing with a 3.5 year old and a baby seems exceptionally cruel.

Happy thoughts and prayers are appreciated!😳

One thought on “Putting the “fun” in Functional Medicine

  1. You constantly amaze me—I have the willpower of a mouse. I’m assuming, probably wrongly, that mice have no willpower.
    I know that you are going to finish this diet strong to figure out what the root of the problem is!

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